Saturday, 14 March 2015

My Adoption Was An Act Of Love

For Mother’s day this year, I would like to pray for those mothers who have given their children up for adoption. 

It’s a hard day for them.

All over the country there are women wondering what their child is doing, if they have the same name they chose, hoping they are happy, wondering if they have families of their own - or even if they are still alive. They are also grieving for the relationship they never had, the memories they missed, and the grandchildren they will never meet. 

They are hurting - and they need our prayers and comfort.

Quite often these mothers get a bad press. Nowadays there is the assumption that they must have been bad mothers to give up their children, or they had their children removed because they were bad parents.

This isn’t always the case.

Some have given up their babies out of love, and the desire to give their child a better life.

In the past, some have been coerced into giving up their baby by others.

Some birth mothers just wouldn’t be able to care for their baby because of their own situation - a situation that may not be their fault.

For these Mothers - let us celebrate their gift to many adoptive mums who have discovered the joy of motherhood because of this painful sacrifice.

The criticism  grows for parents who decide to give up their child with additional needs. These parents rarely give up their child because they “Weren’t perfect”. It’s for much greater reasons. Bringing up a child with additional needs is stressful and expensive. There is little support out there, and an awful lot of judgement. 

Even if a mother has had her child ‘removed’ they still deserve our compassion and our prayers. We don’t know what has brought them to the point of harming or neglecting their child. I hate it with a passion when a child is hurt by those who should be caring and I want to retaliate on the child’s behalf. I question God with a shaken fist when I see the results of abuse, but I am brought back to the same phrase: “There but for the grace of God…….”

Kay Aged 5
I for one am grateful that my birth mother - even in the dire situation she found herself - chose to give me life. No one would have blamed her for choosing another path given the circumstances of my conception.

I understand the pain of giving me up must have been great, but her heart was to give me the best start in life. I am thankful that my adoptive mum made sure I knew this - that I wasn’t rejected, and that my adoption was an act of love.

I couple of years ago I took a Mother’s Day all age service. I spoke on Moses - and referred to the pain His mother must have felt when handing him over to Pharaoh’s daughter. But in doing this, she saved his life. 

We stopped to pray for other birth mums out there who experience this pain every day, especially on Mother’s Day.

I’ll never forget the tearful lady who later thanked me for acknowledging the pain of being “The Birth Mother”.

As people who are Adopted into God’s Family, let us pray for those, who for whatever reason, no longer have the child they gave birth to.

(I support the work of Home for Good, and am proud to say I'm part of their council of reference. Check out their mother's day resources here)

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