Idiots Guide to making church accessible….Worship

When we talk about accessibility, the obvious things are wheelchair ramps and lifts, but there is so much more!!

By accessible we mean more than physical access to a building:

Can those attending your church access worship? The teaching? The coffee? Do they feel guilty because of terminology?  That’s just a few of the things we can think about when we look at making church accessible. Is your website accessible too? Is there information about how those with disabilities can access what you do?

In this post, I’m only going to look at one aspect of accessibility. I may cover other areas later.

Let’s look at ‘sung worship’:

Most will think this is just down to being able to read the words on the screen. Yes, there are issues there, but there are others too.

Do you provide large/giant print words? 

Think about the following:

• Are they large enough?
• Are they in a sans serif font? Serif fonts are difficult to read for those with visual problems and also for those who have dyslexia
• Have you used italics? It’s best not to - they aren’t as clear to read (Yes I know I’ve used them here!)
• If the song/hymn covers two pages, have you put the chorus on both pages? Having to turn the page back and find your place on the page again is difficult.
• Are they the ‘right’ words? Some hymns have variations, and some have the same title as another song. If the large print words are prepared by a different person to the one doing the presentation slides, sometimes the wrong song or words make their way to the large print folder!
• Is the page ‘clean’ or does it have the look of a poor photo copy with bits and blobs over it or fuzzy words? Having these things on the page can make them difficult to read.

How do you introduce worship?

Think about the following:

Are the first words something along the lines of “We’ll all stand to sing….”. Well, actually, some of your congregation may not be able to, and often find phrases like that unhelpful. Many of my disabled friends really appreciate something along the lines of “Stand if you’re able”, and if you’re the sort of church who “remain standing for the next song” it’s helpful to say “If you would like to remain standing….”  Inviting people to worship with suggestions that they may like to stand is much more helpful.

Announcing the next song/hymn is also helpful, or else those unable to see the screens will find it just as the song is finishing.

Do you have a fixed place where those who use wheelchairs or have poor mobility have to sit, or do you give choice?

Think about the following:

• If those who need to be seated for worship and use screens to access song words, be aware of those standing in front of them - they won’t be able to see past them. 
• If they opt to sit at the end of a row so they can see screens whilst seated, and you are from a church where people move around and raise hands in worship - look out for those who move into the aisle and don’t realise they are blocking the view of those who are seated.
• For some wheelchair users or those with mobility difficulties, sitting at the front isn’t always the solution, as looking up at a screen gives neck pain. (Plus, for those with complex syndromes or hidden disabilities the brightness of the screen can also be a problem)
• Be sensitive to those for whom volume means pain - not just to the ears, but also the base notes pounding through their body. Give advise as to the best place to sit if you know this could be a problem.

There is also specific advice for those who have autistic spectrum disorders and worship, which really needs to be a separate post. Do ask the person what is best if you have someone who is finding access to sung worship difficult due to autism. You could also look at the Oxford diocese booklet "Welcoming those with Autism and Asperger Syndrome in our Churches and Communities" downloadable here

As an aside:

If you put the songs being sung that day in a folder for those who can’t see the screens, how about putting the bible reading and responsive prayers in there too?

Today I Choose Gentleness

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by opinions? Not your own, but the amazing avalanche of everyone else’s thoughts?

I do

I’ve been amazed at the ferocity of opinions on all sides of many debates. I’ve seen Christians metaphorically tearing lumps out of each other in the blogosphere, on twitter and even Facebook - just because of opinions. 

Opinions are good and everyone has them - that’s life isn’t it? God created us as individuals able to reason and form opinions. We need them, they show who we are and what we stand for. 

I have many of my own! The thing is - I dare not share them. 

I try not to let my opinions influence how I see others and I am happy for others to have an opinion of their own - it shows they think things through, and in my mind that’s a good thing.

But I struggle with how others deal with some one else’s opinion when it doesn’t match theirs.

We’ve been studying 1 John in our home group - brilliant! But it has made me increasingly aware of how in some circles Christians will not love their ‘brother’ if they have a different opinion.

Maybe social media just magnifies the problem - or maybe love is draining out of the Church? I don’t like either scenario, but the latter scares me rigid.

I love my church, and I feel loved in it - There are lots of opinions there, even in the leadership and it makes for a healthier church. I feel safe there and I know I am fortunate to be able to say that. But out in the big world wide Church, I often don’t feel safe.

I don’t feel safe to say what books I’ve read, what my politics are, what my thoughts on women in the church are, how I view predestination and God etc, etc. I know that if I said exactly what I thought about these issues on twitter - I would lose half my followers. Clarification here - I’m not that bothered about how many followers I have! BUT, I would be more concerned that I had been trashed because of my opinions with no regard to my faith and my love for God.

It’s sad to say that my opinions are respected more by family who are not Christians than some of them who are.

I have even been asked not to help/speak on a Christian kids camp anymore because of other peoples opinions on women.

I have been horrified by people saying they won’t sing a certain worship leader/songwriter’s songs anymore - not because of poor theology (And for this writer - It’s very good theology!) but instead….. because they don’t agree with their politics.

You know what really worries me? 

There are two things: The fear that I am becoming just as judgemental - I spot it sometimes in my occasional quick and angry responses to things. 

But even greater is the realization that all this arguing is squashing my joy in loving my wonderful Saviour, because all around me I see battles that should not be battles, arguments that should be loving discussions. Then there's the thought “am I really that wrong?!” causing me to question my own faith.  In short - I am sad. Very Sad.

What are we teaching our children?? What are we showing our friends and family who do not yet follow Christ?

Today - I choose not to be adversarial  - instead I choose gentleness. It has always been my preference to be gentle. I want it to remain so.

"Thankyou Jesus You're My Friend" Amazing Stories Series (#1)

Around 20 years ago at a  large event, I was charged with looking after a 9 year old boy who had Down’s syndrome - he was what we affectionately call a “runner”. He would have given Houdini a run for his money in the various ways he could find to try and escape! This was in the days before children’s groups had specialists on their teams, so it was rare to be given a role like this. I was given the role because the leader of the team knew of my training and vision.  

Because I was also a musician I had to sing/play in the band. This meant I had to leave my young charge by the OHP (That dates this story!!) with another team member, where he would help with the song words.

Looking from the outside, it appeared he had no interaction with the spiritual side of the programme at all, and very little with the rest of the programme. It was hard work!

We used a lot of makaton signs as actions for songs, but this young lad would not sing or sign for the whole week….. That was, until the last day. On the last morning, with a big grin on his face he signed “Thankyou Jesus, You’re my friend” along with the song we were singing.

For all his appearance of not engaging, he had taken a profound message on board.

There were other positive things that came out of this: That particular team decided to make additional needs carers a permanent position on their teams. I also wrote to the head of the event - it was a very ‘frank’ letter about the need for looking at better additional needs provision within the children and youth programmes. I didn’t expect to get a reply - but I did. And year on year the additional needs provision grew and improved to the excellent work they do today. 

I’m pretty sure that other’s wrote letters about this too, so the change wan’t just down to me…… but I am blessed by the fact that I am now the disability and additional needs advisor for that same festival. 

This is just one story of one child who has made a difference. He doesn't know it, and I doubt his family do either.

Over the next few days I hope to post a few more encouraging stories about working with children who have additional needs. I have so many to choose from.....!

The Story Behind the Forum

On 1^st February there will be a forum for any one who works with, or has an interest in, children who have additional needs and their families. (Details Here - Book Here)

Anyone who knows me knows I am passionate about facilitating children who have additional needs.  I want to make a difference. I want things to change. The thing is - I’m getting impatient and I want things to change more quickly.

I want people to catch the vision. Not a vision for tackling a problem but a vision for facilitating children who have additional needs to find faith, to grow in faith and be all that God has created them to be. 

And I’m impatient for more people to catch that vision and spread it.

I have story upon story of faith from children who have additional needs, I have stories of parents in tears because of the gratitude they feel when people ‘get it’. I have the written vision of a parent who wants their child who is severely autistic to walk with God and serve Him - a powerful missive!

Yep - I’m passionate about this….

It all started when I was 14 years old and helped on a camp for children who had physical disabilities. It was run by the church I attended at the time and children were turning to God. But - it was difficult to link them to churches local to them as those churches just couldn’t cope.

It also occurred to me at that time that when you looked at how many children had an additional need in our communities, it was obvious that this was not reflected in our churches and ‘The Church’ was poorer as a result. It is still the same today over 30 years later.

From that point on I knew what I had to do, I trained as a nurse and specialised in caring for children who have additional needs of every variety. There was an urgency to what we were doing on the camp I helped on as a teenager, as many of the children had a very short life span. Later, as a nurse I had the ‘privilege’ of being with some of them as they went to meet their creator - sad for me, but what was more troubling was those children we just couldn’t reach in time. 

I’ve held too many dying children for me to just sit back and do nothing.

21 years ago…. God called me to be a Children’s evangelist, and He left in my heart that burning desire to do something.

Whilst there are pockets of excellent work with these children and lots of organisations doing bits and pieces, it still isn’t enough. I still hear stories of children and their families turned away from churches, I still hear of evangelism policies and plans that don’t include intentional outreach to children with additional needs. I hear of schools work set up, but no one even thinking of going into the ‘special’ schools. I still hear of children treated as a problem rather that God’s creation. These children are in our communities, are in our schools and have families who are often in crisis with no help in sight.

I want that to change. 

This year the damn finally burst. At the Children Matter forum in May I poured my heart out about this. I wanted to pull together every one who would listen so we could do something. I want the best for these children!

Are you with me?

Well that’s why we are organising this forum. We want to start a conversation that will begin a process of change, not just for the children but for their families too. Yes, there are people out there doing some great stuff but we need to be talking together and working together to achieve even more…..to spread the word and make a bigger impact.

The church, Savile and Child Protection

The newspapers, TV and social media have been alive with information about Jimmy Savile. We all agree it’s terrible, and we’re all wondering how he managed to get away with so much for so long. 

In the early days of this news breaking some people pontificated about why the “Alleged Victims” waited until after he was dead - that comment on it’s own shows how many people just don’t understand the issues facing those who have been abused by a high profile person (Will I be believed? They are so powerful, I’ve been threatened etc). 

As it turns out, a few of his victims did speak up - but sadly, for many reasons, nothing was done.

But I’m not writing here about the failings of all those involved in this, people and policies that should have kept so many young people safe. I want to talk about how “The Church” is going to respond to it.

The temptation is to shake our heads sadly and assume it only happens “out there” and not in our nice comfortable churches.

I commented on social media last week that ‘The Church’ in this nation should “...sit up, listen, take note and learn. Most importantly... Act.”

By act I mean three things: 

1. Act - have a safeguarding policy, it will go a long way to preventing abuse. 
2. Act - If someone makes an allegation, do something about it. Your safeguarding policy will tell you what to do. 

3. Act - If you have a survivor of abuse in your church family, support them. If you don’t  know how, then get some training.

I want the church in this nation to learn from the mistakes behind the whole Savile saga.. 

It’s wrong to think it wouldn’t happen in a loving church community - it can. To think that is wrong. Sadly, I know all too well how people in leadership in churches can ‘get away with it’ and how the victims can be left feeling they have no voice. I know survivors...and those who didn’t survive.

NEVER say NEVER! 

It could even happen in a church with a very good safeguarding policy - CRB checks are good, but not foolproof. We always need to be on our guard. I’m not saying we should view everyone with suspicion before we’ve even welcomed a child into our churches - that would be wrong. What I AM saying is - be aware and be ready - just in case.

Church - please listen. 

Make sure you have an up to date safe guarding policy, and then make sure you use it. Don’t just leave it on the shelf gathering dust. 

Make sure everyone in your church knows about it. Do safeguarding training regularly for those involved at any level with children and young people.

Inform the parents of children who attend your clubs that you have a policy - put a statement about it in all your information.

Display the child line phone number at child eye height in your church buildings, and if any one says you should’t do this because it encourages false allegations - ignore them. I’d rather see the complainer ignored than a child who has been abused. (Aside from that - it’s just not true)

As well as the usual checks, use supervision as one of your main safeguarding tools.

Have a clear and simple whistle blowing policy

Don’t brush things under the carpet - shine God’s light on stuff and act (Whilst still maintaining confidentiality for the child/young person) 

Don’t use this as an excuse NOT to do children’s work or youth work. If it stops your children and youth work - you’re doing something wrong.

If you know nothing about safeguarding, have never heard of child protection but want to do do something - contact the professionals for help - they’ll be happy to help you.

I’ll say it again:  Church, please...sit up, listen, take note and learn. Most importantly... Act.

I Have a Dream......

Let me introduce you to Gemma….

She’s 8, is autistic and love’s Jesus. But sometimes - she doesn’t love Jesus.

Sometimes she can be profound with her comments about Jesus, sometimes she just doesn’t want to even talk about Him - preferring to play with some lego, giving the impression she’s not listening. But she is listening.

I don’t understand how her faith journey works - I know God does. Her journey is important to me, the fact I don’t understand it isn’t.

The other thing that is important to me is how other people view Gemma and others like her. 

Mostly, she is ignored. 

The times she is not ignored are those times she makes a loud comments in church (Usually, an appropriate comment!). Or when she struggles to wait in line for a drink or a biscuit, or cannot wait her turn in a game - maybe shouting out an answer during the children’s talk in the main service. In other words, those times when she goes against what us “Nice” Christians consider to be appropriate behaviour in church. Other than that - she is anonymous. 

No one notices the depth of her faith, her amazing knowledge of the Bible or her ‘straight to the heart of it’ prayers. No one notices her parents either, even though they are desperate for support and conversation.

The same goes for many other children and adults with special needs or disabilities - they and their families are anonymous and ignored. 

I often quote Joni Eareckson-Tada: “The Blind can see with the eyes of Christ, the deaf can hear with the ears of Christ, a person with a learning difficulty can think with the mind of Christ”. This is so true, but who listens to what they have to say about it?

Everyone has their own thoughts, ideas and opinions, things they feel strongly about - those who have disabilities and special needs, child or adult, are no different. And surprise, surprise - it’s not always about disability!

I have a dream - I want them to be heard. I don’t want them to be anonymous anymore.

When Children Don't Want Jesus In Their Heart Any More

We adults have our own view of all things theological, we like to get it sorted in our heads and pass on what we think to the children. Sometimes we’ve wrestled with it ourselves, and sometimes we have just accepted what the previous generation told us - because we have never been required to test it for ourselves. Sometimes we forget to let the children wrestle with it for themselves, to ask questions - and not be afraid to ask them.

Many people are shocked when children question, as though we think they are rejecting all the wisdom we have passed on because of their questioning. But questioning is healthy. It helps a child to own their faith and grow in it as they journey, rather than getting to university and thinking “So why do I believe this….?”

I’ve written on the subject of how children view suffering and God before, and had a lot of theology thrown at me as a result. There were lot’s of different views, some of the readers rather surprised that I needed this subject explaining to me and set about trying to ‘correct’ my theology. I didn’t need it explaining or correcting - I never said I did. What I did question was how we help children who are suffering, as I felt they needed it explaining rather better than we do! I felt we should’t be saying  “this is the answer - lump it”, but rather - “these are different ways of looking at it” and giving space and permission for anger and grief, a place for asking questions of both us and God.

Last time I wrote on this I talked of how I have had angry conversations with God about things and I got responses from readers along the lines of “Until I accept that these things are God will...then…. etc, etc” I was cross with these responses - and I have a firm faith. So just think how a questioning child would feel with this response?!

I have seen the faith of too many children smashed to pieces because of poorly thought through theology pressed on the child when they are not in a place to hear it. To tell a child who has just lost their mother that they should be happy for their mother - because they are in heaven is crass beyond words….. but I’ve heard it said! The same child was told within days of losing her, that their mother’s death was God’s will. Ok - that might be your theology, but please don’t say it to a child who’s mother died in a car crash days before.

During my first year as a children’s evangelist I had a 7 year old girl in a small group. She was a Christian, but struggling with coming to terms with some horrible stuff happening in her life. I will never forget her screaming at me, whilst grabbing at her chest repeatedly; “I don’t want God in my heart any more, I hate Him, I hate Him, He doesn’t work”

Sometimes there comes a time when we have to stop trying to explain God’s reasoning (Only God knows that!) and just hold the child and cry with them….. And not be afraid to admit that we just don’t understand. That’s what I did.

After I have cried with them and allowed them to shout - I don’t try to explain God…. Or make excuses for Him - that’s not for me to do. What I can do is help them to hold on to God in the middle of their crisis. I will talk theology (What God thinks about it) when they are ready - and want to talk about.

What I want for them is to find God in the depths of the pain, to give them the resources to eventually allow God to redeem the situation, to hold them and to comfort them. Before we can say anything else, they need to know more than anything that God still loves them - even in the depths of their despair and angry questions - they are within that love. 

Think of the song ‘Father God I Wonder’. I love that song - but have you ever tried to sing the chorus from the middle of a deep crisis? When the last thing we want to do is ‘Sing God’s praises’? It’s difficult to do - especially when told that this is “God’s Will”. But it seems we expect kids to happily do this.

With older kids, and this song in mind I have sometimes talked through the occasions I have sung it, not wanting to praise God, and yet at the same time - determined to praise Him, just because I am still aware of God’s love. The gritted teeth, hands clenched, tears streaming down your cheeks version where you sing “I WILL sing your praises”. This is usually called a ‘sacrifice of praise’ and it’s not easy, but it is often the first step to allowing God into the grief and the pain.

It’s good to share your story - not to say that you understand, because you can’t…. They are not you. Tell it to say “You are not alone, you can talk to me”.

I am not a professional counselor - but like many of those who work with children, I am often the first contact for a child in crisis. I will always suggest counseling to parents, but I am also aware that my initial response to the child is key to gaining their trust for the future.

You’ve probably guessed where my theology on suffering sits :o) Your theology may sit in a different place, and that’s fine by me. 

The purpose of this blog post is not to compare theology or war scars - it’s to fight for the faith of the children I love and serve.