Enjoy the Miracles, But Don't Forget Your Communities

It does appear that given the choice of a seminar on signs and wonders and a seminar on making sure those with disabilities can access church, the majority will opt for the seminar on signs and wonders. 

That seminar is usually full to overflowing.

I find this slightly disturbing.

There’s been a lot of talk about healing on social media, both from Wales and from a couple of recent festivals - that’s wonderful!

But I still can’t helping feeling as though the finger of blame is pointing at those who are not healed - “those people have been healed, why not you?”

And now I hear of people getting into their cars and chasing the new welsh revival, much like they did with a well known “revival” in America in the last couple of years.

This gives me another question: Would as many folk do the same to learn how to make sure everyone - including those with disabilities - can access their church? Would they do that to learn how to include and teach children? 

The figures for those attending these sort of conferences speak for themselves…… No.

Don’t misunderstand me here - I believe in healing. I believe in Biblical signs and wonders. But I don’t believe it should be at the expense of caring for our communities. 

I believe there is the same amount of wonder in seeing a child with a profound disability worship as there is in witnessing a healing…. And I have witnessed both.

So here I am, a very quiet voice in the world of the church, putting my hand up and saying “Excuse me please! Enjoy the miracles, but don’t forget to care. Don’t forget that not everyone will be healed and will still need to access the church. And whatever you do - don’t forget the children.” 

When Children Don't Want Jesus In Their Heart Any More

We adults have our own view of all things theological, we like to get it sorted in our heads and pass on what we think to the children. Sometimes we’ve wrestled with it ourselves, and sometimes we have just accepted what the previous generation told us - because we have never been required to test it for ourselves. Sometimes we forget to let the children wrestle with it for themselves, to ask questions - and not be afraid to ask them.

Many people are shocked when children question, as though we think they are rejecting all the wisdom we have passed on because of their questioning. But questioning is healthy. It helps a child to own their faith and grow in it as they journey, rather than getting to university and thinking “So why do I believe this….?”

I’ve written on the subject of how children view suffering and God before, and had a lot of theology thrown at me as a result. There were lot’s of different views, some of the readers rather surprised that I needed this subject explaining to me and set about trying to ‘correct’ my theology. I didn’t need it explaining or correcting - I never said I did. What I did question was how we help children who are suffering, as I felt they needed it explaining rather better than we do! I felt we should’t be saying  “this is the answer - lump it”, but rather - “these are different ways of looking at it” and giving space and permission for anger and grief, a place for asking questions of both us and God.

Last time I wrote on this I talked of how I have had angry conversations with God about things and I got responses from readers along the lines of “Until I accept that these things are God will...then…. etc, etc” I was cross with these responses - and I have a firm faith. So just think how a questioning child would feel with this response?!

I have seen the faith of too many children smashed to pieces because of poorly thought through theology pressed on the child when they are not in a place to hear it. To tell a child who has just lost their mother that they should be happy for their mother - because they are in heaven is crass beyond words….. but I’ve heard it said! The same child was told within days of losing her, that their mother’s death was God’s will. Ok - that might be your theology, but please don’t say it to a child who’s mother died in a car crash days before.

During my first year as a children’s evangelist I had a 7 year old girl in a small group. She was a Christian, but struggling with coming to terms with some horrible stuff happening in her life. I will never forget her screaming at me, whilst grabbing at her chest repeatedly; “I don’t want God in my heart any more, I hate Him, I hate Him, He doesn’t work”

Sometimes there comes a time when we have to stop trying to explain God’s reasoning (Only God knows that!) and just hold the child and cry with them….. And not be afraid to admit that we just don’t understand. That’s what I did.

After I have cried with them and allowed them to shout - I don’t try to explain God…. Or make excuses for Him - that’s not for me to do. What I can do is help them to hold on to God in the middle of their crisis. I will talk theology (What God thinks about it) when they are ready - and want to talk about.

What I want for them is to find God in the depths of the pain, to give them the resources to eventually allow God to redeem the situation, to hold them and to comfort them. Before we can say anything else, they need to know more than anything that God still loves them - even in the depths of their despair and angry questions - they are within that love. 

Think of the song ‘Father God I Wonder’. I love that song - but have you ever tried to sing the chorus from the middle of a deep crisis? When the last thing we want to do is ‘Sing God’s praises’? It’s difficult to do - especially when told that this is “God’s Will”. But it seems we expect kids to happily do this.

With older kids, and this song in mind I have sometimes talked through the occasions I have sung it, not wanting to praise God, and yet at the same time - determined to praise Him, just because I am still aware of God’s love. The gritted teeth, hands clenched, tears streaming down your cheeks version where you sing “I WILL sing your praises”. This is usually called a ‘sacrifice of praise’ and it’s not easy, but it is often the first step to allowing God into the grief and the pain.

It’s good to share your story - not to say that you understand, because you can’t…. They are not you. Tell it to say “You are not alone, you can talk to me”.

I am not a professional counselor - but like many of those who work with children, I am often the first contact for a child in crisis. I will always suggest counseling to parents, but I am also aware that my initial response to the child is key to gaining their trust for the future.

You’ve probably guessed where my theology on suffering sits :o) Your theology may sit in a different place, and that’s fine by me. 

The purpose of this blog post is not to compare theology or war scars - it’s to fight for the faith of the children I love and serve.

God's Will.....?

I was really uncomfortable with something my daily devotional said today. It’s something I’ve questioned and studied for a long time - a constant irritant in my normally unquestioning faith.

The comment in this devotional was tackling quite a big issue that cannot really be tackled in a few paragraphs, so I may be judging it unfairly.

The writer was looking at verses in Genesis 50, including: "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good so that others might be saved."

The writer goes on to talk about what God “intends” from problems and suffering: “From the beginning, God calculated for Joseph to experience all these things. Why? For the salvation of others.” The writer later goes on to say “Your problems have more purpose than you can imagine. Not because God merely used bad things, but because God intended them so that others might be brought to Jesus through your example.”

I struggle with this statement on many levels - both as a children’s worker who works with kids with disabilities, additional needs and difficult family backgrounds, but also with my own background too. Many children, young people and families are asking these questions, and I feel I need to have wrestled with it myself so I can help in the discussion. 

There are many thoughts on God’s will. Two of them are: “Permissive Will” (Allows things - even though it’s sin)  and “Directive Will” (God’s calling for your life - not as common as most would like.) There are quite a few other ones too. Look at http://bit.ly/dgOSES, as this gives some very helpful pointers on what people think about the will of God.

My starting point in looking at these questions is always the Bible, and the subject matter has to be myself - It’s difficult to talk to others about things like this unless I can show I’ve struggled with the question too. (Caveat time: You don’t have to have suffered to answer these questions, but showing you have given serious thought to it is helpful!)

I am alive on this planet because a church youth worker abused my birth mother - a horrible story in itself. Those who believe in the argument set out above would say I fit this verse to a T - out of an awful situation, came a children’s evangelist who may not have been here otherwise. Now, I believe God can redeem an awful situation, but can we really say that in reality God intended my birth mother to be abused? Personally, I don’t think so. But God has definitely redeemed the situation. As I talk to children who are survivors of abuse - the idea that God intended it is a harsh and dangerous one.

I also have a disability - but I can see God at work through it. Would I rather not be in constant pain? Well, yes! But the key issue here is not the pain, but my reaction to it and my relationship with God. Children with disabilities struggle with the idea that God intended their body to be one that doesn’t work properly - just as they struggle with the other side of the coin that they don’t have enough faith to be healed. We need to be very careful with our thoughts and theology here too!

In the last few years I have lost two female friends to suicide and another in the Australian bush fires, and in that time I have really struggled with people’s comments and prayers surrounding their deaths. In one prayer meeting I heard a person pray “God, we know you have ordained this in your perfect plan, and we don’t understand it….” Too right I don’t understand - but it was the prayer I didn’t understand. But many people believe this point of view, without actually thinking it all the way through to it’s conclusion. The grief was huge, but the idea that my loving heavenly Father may have “ordained this, made the grief so much greater - was it really God’s purpose to allow three families to be left without a wife and a mother…. And one father without his kids too? (My friend’s sons were also killed in the Australian fires). There are many grieving children out there, trying to piece together shattered lives after the loss of a loved one - how do we help them to understand these things?

It would be so easy to damage these precious kids with badly thought out and poorly explained theology. Where ever you stand in this debate - care needs to be taken.

My personal position lies smack bang in the middle of all the discussions on these things. I hope and I pray I can help children and young people who are facing suffering, plus their families, to go on believing in a loving God. I hope I can encouraging them to use what is happening to them to grow in their relationship with God. 

My faith and life journey, I believe, are more to do with my relationship with an amazing God than what God can do for me.