Wednesday, 28 March 2012

So Tell Me - Why do I do this? Choosing to Hear God's Voice

On Friday I set off to Spring Harvest - everything appears to be falling into place; house sitters booked, packing getting there, preparation on going - even prayer is getting a look in too!
But as an incredibly shy introvert….. Why on earth do I do this?! I’ve already blogged about shy kids workers here, so I won’t say more on that. But knowing how encouraging many folk found that blog - I’m hoping the following honesty will also be helpful.
As someone who struggles with being around people - why on earth would I go to such a huge event…. And work with…. People! Please understand, I don’t hate people - I just struggle with chit chat until I have had a chance to build relationship with them.
It is easier when I assume my working persona - I know what I’m talking about (I hope!) and can talk about kids and disability quite happily. But when it comes to being ME, then that’s a different story. 
I’m not leading Whizz Kids this year - God was very clear in His call to pass that mantle on. But instead I am doing my equally favourite thing - making sure everyone can access this amazing event called ‘Spring Harvest’. It’s a role where I can remain virtually anonymous - an unknown person, facilitating those who struggle with what can be a difficult environment. I love seeing the joy on parent’s faces when they see their child settle into a programme, I love hearing young people with additional needs speak out testimonies of what God has done for them during the week. I also love facilitating the excellent team of volunteers who give up their time freely - making sure they are confident in assisting those with disabilities, whether obvious or hidden.
When I hear the testimonies of those who have been helped, with the phrase “Spring Harvest did this…..” Then I know why I do it. God has called me to it. 
And if I can do something as scary as this - with God’s help, then just think what you can do - with God’s help! 
I still battle with that deepening sense of dread and fear, I still wake up terrified about the task ahead - but in the background is that still small voice telling me that His perfect love drives out fear, that He will never leave me or ‘forsake’ me and that I can cast all my fears on Him. 

It’s my choice whether I listen to that voice or not - but today…. I choose to listen :o)

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