A Record of God's Faithfulness

Every year, when we fetch the Christmas decorations down from the attic we say "Surely it was only last week we put these away...."

The year has flown by with great speed and little pause for breath. Together we've laughed a lot, cried a little and sighed when we've had no words to express our thoughts. We've hugged people, cried with people, encouraged them, sent many emails and driven many miles to be to people what they need - all this in the name of children's work, and keeping kids workers working with kids. We've also supported organisations in what they do and provided expertise where needed. It goes without saying that we've also done a lot of children's work! (A summary of our year went out in our Christmas Cards - you can download a copy here)

We have had a mixture of blessings and difficulties, both in the work we do and personally.

For me in particular, it's been an iconic year. Many things that I have had a vision for and dreamed about for years  are beginning to happen. It has been so encouraging to see my vision for children who have additional needs and disabilities come to fruition, to begin to get like minded people together and start to make a difference. I haven't been banging on lots of doors to make this happen - all I've done is pour out my heart about it and then watch things happen

God is indeed gracious.

At our council of reference we keep what we call a "record of God's faithfulness" A reminder that amid all the difficulties of leadership - God is still faithful. The list is getting very long!

Some of the things we are thankful for have another 'side', such as being awarded DLA over a year ago, allowing us to have a reliable car and a very useful rail card. This is great! But with the changes in DLA (Being changed to PIP) it does  cause a little uncertainty. I was given a permanent award due to the degenerative nature of the conditions I have, but I will now need to be re-assessed under the new system. If you believe the way things are reported in the press, if I was re-assessed tomorrow I wouldn't qualify for PIP (Which is slightly ridiculous!) BUT, thankfully I won't be reassessed for some time, and hopefully a lot of the negative side to the changes will have been sorted out and the qualification list will be more realistic. So there is still a need to be thankful!

(I am prayerfully aware of my disabled friends for whom the changes are causing severe hardship and difficulty - please join with me in praying for them)

We live by faith - our role as general directors of Children Worldwide is voluntary and squeezed in between our children's and consultancy work. Some folk sponsor us personally, our church gives us a monthly gift, and we are paid for some of the work we do (by no means all of it). In the last year we have lost a considerable amount of our personal funding - thankfully the DLA has  helped a little with this, but without it, things would be quite difficult.
Payment for some of my writing is helpful, but a lot of the work I take on costs us money to do, as those who need help and advice can rarely afford to pay for that help - but we remain convinced that getting the message out there about quality kids work and quality work amongst children who have additional needs, needs to be out there, regardless of whether people can pay.

We aren't destitute - we currently have enough to live on, and a personal gift that unexpectedly comes once a year pays for us to have a much needed holiday. (we can't rely on this gift always being there, but we are very thankful if it does arrive!)

There are other exciting things afoot for next year - the possibility of achieving more for kids, and especially kids who have additional needs and disabilities. Despite my own disabilities I can do everything I need to do - but I need to be wise. I need to know what to to take up and what to put down.

As we come close to Christmas and the New Year (Steve's Birthday on New Years Day!) We look back over 2012 with thankfulness - even for the hard stuff. We look forward to 2013, with a mixture of anticipation and a little apprehension. We have much to do, much to organise and lots to say.

Please pray for us - talk to us - hug us and encourage us. We 'give out' and care for people a lot - all willingly! But we rarely get asked how we are ourselves, so feel free to ask!

2 Corinthians 4:7-12

The Message (MSG)

^7-12 If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That’s to prevent anyone from confusing God’s incomparable power with us. As it is, there’s not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we’re not much to look at. We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken. What they did to Jesus, they do to us—trial and torture, mockery and murder; what Jesus did among them, he does in us—he lives! Our lives are at constant risk for Jesus’ sake, which makes Jesus’ life all the more evident in us. While we’re going through the worst, you’re getting in on the best!

Carols? Bah Humbug!

I got myself into a little bit of trouble on social media last week.

My crime? I hinted at the fact I’m not too keen on Christmas carols - a truly heinous crime apparently!

I’ll start my saying I like listening to carols…. when done well. I love them done in their original form (Fire and Sleet and Candlelight by Coope, Boyes and Simpson is brilliant!) and hearing the Salvation Army Band is also awesome. 

I am not a Scrooge - honest! And this admission has nothing to do with being a musician and hating them done badly and like a dirge. (Although I do dislike that too!!)  

I concede that having a carol service can draw people into a church, and that it’s a great tool in working with our communities. Brilliant. I’m glad people do this sort of outreach.

But my comments are made as a children’s worker.

Many carols give a fairy tale view of Christmas - twee, pretty, sentimental etc, and we get the kids sings these carols in family services because it’s “sweet” and it gets them “involved”.

Yes, we tell them the true story with all the facts…... and then we make them sing something that is totally different. It can be very confusing for young children - even more confusing to our young friends with autistic spectrum disorders!

My God is big - He chose to come to earth in the form of a baby - weak, helpless God child. He was a real child - that’s the whole point. He cried, messed his nappy and gazed up at his mum like any other child. THIS is amazing.

He grew up, He did awesome stuff, He pointed to God the Father and is the only way to relationship with God the Father, He did no wrong, He died…. And rose from death. THIS is amazing

Many Christmas carols trivialize What God did (with a few notable exceptions!)

Why are we so surprised when people can only see Jesus the baby (Who apparently wasn’t a ‘real’ baby, because the carol said he didn’t cry….)

Why are we so surprised when children relegate the greatest story in history to the level of a fairy tale along with snow white?

Why are we so surprised with reports like this from the daily mail http://bit.ly/12oLm6B where people can’t separate fact and fiction in the nativity story?

I WILL sing some carols this year, and I will rejoice in those ones that give me a glimpse of the bigger story. But I will continue to cringe at those that trivialize what God did.

This is because I care for our children and I want them to have a clear understanding of who Jesus is, along with how He came, the reason He came that way and the consequences of Him becoming human.

Idiots Guide to making church accessible….Worship

When we talk about accessibility, the obvious things are wheelchair ramps and lifts, but there is so much more!!

By accessible we mean more than physical access to a building:

Can those attending your church access worship? The teaching? The coffee? Do they feel guilty because of terminology?  That’s just a few of the things we can think about when we look at making church accessible. Is your website accessible too? Is there information about how those with disabilities can access what you do?

In this post, I’m only going to look at one aspect of accessibility. I may cover other areas later.

Let’s look at ‘sung worship’:

Most will think this is just down to being able to read the words on the screen. Yes, there are issues there, but there are others too.

Do you provide large/giant print words? 

Think about the following:

• Are they large enough?
• Are they in a sans serif font? Serif fonts are difficult to read for those with visual problems and also for those who have dyslexia
• Have you used italics? It’s best not to - they aren’t as clear to read (Yes I know I’ve used them here!)
• If the song/hymn covers two pages, have you put the chorus on both pages? Having to turn the page back and find your place on the page again is difficult.
• Are they the ‘right’ words? Some hymns have variations, and some have the same title as another song. If the large print words are prepared by a different person to the one doing the presentation slides, sometimes the wrong song or words make their way to the large print folder!
• Is the page ‘clean’ or does it have the look of a poor photo copy with bits and blobs over it or fuzzy words? Having these things on the page can make them difficult to read.

How do you introduce worship?

Think about the following:

Are the first words something along the lines of “We’ll all stand to sing….”. Well, actually, some of your congregation may not be able to, and often find phrases like that unhelpful. Many of my disabled friends really appreciate something along the lines of “Stand if you’re able”, and if you’re the sort of church who “remain standing for the next song” it’s helpful to say “If you would like to remain standing….”  Inviting people to worship with suggestions that they may like to stand is much more helpful.

Announcing the next song/hymn is also helpful, or else those unable to see the screens will find it just as the song is finishing.

Do you have a fixed place where those who use wheelchairs or have poor mobility have to sit, or do you give choice?

Think about the following:

• If those who need to be seated for worship and use screens to access song words, be aware of those standing in front of them - they won’t be able to see past them. 
• If they opt to sit at the end of a row so they can see screens whilst seated, and you are from a church where people move around and raise hands in worship - look out for those who move into the aisle and don’t realise they are blocking the view of those who are seated.
• For some wheelchair users or those with mobility difficulties, sitting at the front isn’t always the solution, as looking up at a screen gives neck pain. (Plus, for those with complex syndromes or hidden disabilities the brightness of the screen can also be a problem)
• Be sensitive to those for whom volume means pain - not just to the ears, but also the base notes pounding through their body. Give advise as to the best place to sit if you know this could be a problem.

There is also specific advice for those who have autistic spectrum disorders and worship, which really needs to be a separate post. Do ask the person what is best if you have someone who is finding access to sung worship difficult due to autism. You could also look at the Oxford diocese booklet "Welcoming those with Autism and Asperger Syndrome in our Churches and Communities" downloadable here

As an aside:

If you put the songs being sung that day in a folder for those who can’t see the screens, how about putting the bible reading and responsive prayers in there too?

Today I Choose Gentleness

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by opinions? Not your own, but the amazing avalanche of everyone else’s thoughts?

I do

I’ve been amazed at the ferocity of opinions on all sides of many debates. I’ve seen Christians metaphorically tearing lumps out of each other in the blogosphere, on twitter and even Facebook - just because of opinions. 

Opinions are good and everyone has them - that’s life isn’t it? God created us as individuals able to reason and form opinions. We need them, they show who we are and what we stand for. 

I have many of my own! The thing is - I dare not share them. 

I try not to let my opinions influence how I see others and I am happy for others to have an opinion of their own - it shows they think things through, and in my mind that’s a good thing.

But I struggle with how others deal with some one else’s opinion when it doesn’t match theirs.

We’ve been studying 1 John in our home group - brilliant! But it has made me increasingly aware of how in some circles Christians will not love their ‘brother’ if they have a different opinion.

Maybe social media just magnifies the problem - or maybe love is draining out of the Church? I don’t like either scenario, but the latter scares me rigid.

I love my church, and I feel loved in it - There are lots of opinions there, even in the leadership and it makes for a healthier church. I feel safe there and I know I am fortunate to be able to say that. But out in the big world wide Church, I often don’t feel safe.

I don’t feel safe to say what books I’ve read, what my politics are, what my thoughts on women in the church are, how I view predestination and God etc, etc. I know that if I said exactly what I thought about these issues on twitter - I would lose half my followers. Clarification here - I’m not that bothered about how many followers I have! BUT, I would be more concerned that I had been trashed because of my opinions with no regard to my faith and my love for God.

It’s sad to say that my opinions are respected more by family who are not Christians than some of them who are.

I have even been asked not to help/speak on a Christian kids camp anymore because of other peoples opinions on women.

I have been horrified by people saying they won’t sing a certain worship leader/songwriter’s songs anymore - not because of poor theology (And for this writer - It’s very good theology!) but instead….. because they don’t agree with their politics.

You know what really worries me? 

There are two things: The fear that I am becoming just as judgemental - I spot it sometimes in my occasional quick and angry responses to things. 

But even greater is the realization that all this arguing is squashing my joy in loving my wonderful Saviour, because all around me I see battles that should not be battles, arguments that should be loving discussions. Then there's the thought “am I really that wrong?!” causing me to question my own faith.  In short - I am sad. Very Sad.

What are we teaching our children?? What are we showing our friends and family who do not yet follow Christ?

Today - I choose not to be adversarial  - instead I choose gentleness. It has always been my preference to be gentle. I want it to remain so.

"Thankyou Jesus You're My Friend" Amazing Stories Series (#1)

Around 20 years ago at a  large event, I was charged with looking after a 9 year old boy who had Down’s syndrome - he was what we affectionately call a “runner”. He would have given Houdini a run for his money in the various ways he could find to try and escape! This was in the days before children’s groups had specialists on their teams, so it was rare to be given a role like this. I was given the role because the leader of the team knew of my training and vision.  

Because I was also a musician I had to sing/play in the band. This meant I had to leave my young charge by the OHP (That dates this story!!) with another team member, where he would help with the song words.

Looking from the outside, it appeared he had no interaction with the spiritual side of the programme at all, and very little with the rest of the programme. It was hard work!

We used a lot of makaton signs as actions for songs, but this young lad would not sing or sign for the whole week….. That was, until the last day. On the last morning, with a big grin on his face he signed “Thankyou Jesus, You’re my friend” along with the song we were singing.

For all his appearance of not engaging, he had taken a profound message on board.

There were other positive things that came out of this: That particular team decided to make additional needs carers a permanent position on their teams. I also wrote to the head of the event - it was a very ‘frank’ letter about the need for looking at better additional needs provision within the children and youth programmes. I didn’t expect to get a reply - but I did. And year on year the additional needs provision grew and improved to the excellent work they do today. 

I’m pretty sure that other’s wrote letters about this too, so the change wan’t just down to me…… but I am blessed by the fact that I am now the disability and additional needs advisor for that same festival. 

This is just one story of one child who has made a difference. He doesn't know it, and I doubt his family do either.

Over the next few days I hope to post a few more encouraging stories about working with children who have additional needs. I have so many to choose from.....!

The Story Behind the Forum

On 1^st February there will be a forum for any one who works with, or has an interest in, children who have additional needs and their families. (Details Here - Book Here)

Anyone who knows me knows I am passionate about facilitating children who have additional needs.  I want to make a difference. I want things to change. The thing is - I’m getting impatient and I want things to change more quickly.

I want people to catch the vision. Not a vision for tackling a problem but a vision for facilitating children who have additional needs to find faith, to grow in faith and be all that God has created them to be. 

And I’m impatient for more people to catch that vision and spread it.

I have story upon story of faith from children who have additional needs, I have stories of parents in tears because of the gratitude they feel when people ‘get it’. I have the written vision of a parent who wants their child who is severely autistic to walk with God and serve Him - a powerful missive!

Yep - I’m passionate about this….

It all started when I was 14 years old and helped on a camp for children who had physical disabilities. It was run by the church I attended at the time and children were turning to God. But - it was difficult to link them to churches local to them as those churches just couldn’t cope.

It also occurred to me at that time that when you looked at how many children had an additional need in our communities, it was obvious that this was not reflected in our churches and ‘The Church’ was poorer as a result. It is still the same today over 30 years later.

From that point on I knew what I had to do, I trained as a nurse and specialised in caring for children who have additional needs of every variety. There was an urgency to what we were doing on the camp I helped on as a teenager, as many of the children had a very short life span. Later, as a nurse I had the ‘privilege’ of being with some of them as they went to meet their creator - sad for me, but what was more troubling was those children we just couldn’t reach in time. 

I’ve held too many dying children for me to just sit back and do nothing.

21 years ago…. God called me to be a Children’s evangelist, and He left in my heart that burning desire to do something.

Whilst there are pockets of excellent work with these children and lots of organisations doing bits and pieces, it still isn’t enough. I still hear stories of children and their families turned away from churches, I still hear of evangelism policies and plans that don’t include intentional outreach to children with additional needs. I hear of schools work set up, but no one even thinking of going into the ‘special’ schools. I still hear of children treated as a problem rather that God’s creation. These children are in our communities, are in our schools and have families who are often in crisis with no help in sight.

I want that to change. 

This year the damn finally burst. At the Children Matter forum in May I poured my heart out about this. I wanted to pull together every one who would listen so we could do something. I want the best for these children!

Are you with me?

Well that’s why we are organising this forum. We want to start a conversation that will begin a process of change, not just for the children but for their families too. Yes, there are people out there doing some great stuff but we need to be talking together and working together to achieve even more…..to spread the word and make a bigger impact.

The church, Savile and Child Protection

The newspapers, TV and social media have been alive with information about Jimmy Savile. We all agree it’s terrible, and we’re all wondering how he managed to get away with so much for so long. 

In the early days of this news breaking some people pontificated about why the “Alleged Victims” waited until after he was dead - that comment on it’s own shows how many people just don’t understand the issues facing those who have been abused by a high profile person (Will I be believed? They are so powerful, I’ve been threatened etc). 

As it turns out, a few of his victims did speak up - but sadly, for many reasons, nothing was done.

But I’m not writing here about the failings of all those involved in this, people and policies that should have kept so many young people safe. I want to talk about how “The Church” is going to respond to it.

The temptation is to shake our heads sadly and assume it only happens “out there” and not in our nice comfortable churches.

I commented on social media last week that ‘The Church’ in this nation should “...sit up, listen, take note and learn. Most importantly... Act.”

By act I mean three things: 

1. Act - have a safeguarding policy, it will go a long way to preventing abuse. 
2. Act - If someone makes an allegation, do something about it. Your safeguarding policy will tell you what to do. 

3. Act - If you have a survivor of abuse in your church family, support them. If you don’t  know how, then get some training.

I want the church in this nation to learn from the mistakes behind the whole Savile saga.. 

It’s wrong to think it wouldn’t happen in a loving church community - it can. To think that is wrong. Sadly, I know all too well how people in leadership in churches can ‘get away with it’ and how the victims can be left feeling they have no voice. I know survivors...and those who didn’t survive.

NEVER say NEVER! 

It could even happen in a church with a very good safeguarding policy - CRB checks are good, but not foolproof. We always need to be on our guard. I’m not saying we should view everyone with suspicion before we’ve even welcomed a child into our churches - that would be wrong. What I AM saying is - be aware and be ready - just in case.

Church - please listen. 

Make sure you have an up to date safe guarding policy, and then make sure you use it. Don’t just leave it on the shelf gathering dust. 

Make sure everyone in your church knows about it. Do safeguarding training regularly for those involved at any level with children and young people.

Inform the parents of children who attend your clubs that you have a policy - put a statement about it in all your information.

Display the child line phone number at child eye height in your church buildings, and if any one says you should’t do this because it encourages false allegations - ignore them. I’d rather see the complainer ignored than a child who has been abused. (Aside from that - it’s just not true)

As well as the usual checks, use supervision as one of your main safeguarding tools.

Have a clear and simple whistle blowing policy

Don’t brush things under the carpet - shine God’s light on stuff and act (Whilst still maintaining confidentiality for the child/young person) 

Don’t use this as an excuse NOT to do children’s work or youth work. If it stops your children and youth work - you’re doing something wrong.

If you know nothing about safeguarding, have never heard of child protection but want to do do something - contact the professionals for help - they’ll be happy to help you.

I’ll say it again:  Church, please...sit up, listen, take note and learn. Most importantly... Act.